I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
