In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
