I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
