Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
