That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
