you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
