they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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