We're like a lot better than the average bears
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
