I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
All the doctor said was why
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize