Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
