I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
