How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize