There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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