no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
