5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
