So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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