On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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