Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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