I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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