a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
