Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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