Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
