I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
