Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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