I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm both gender and math confused
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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