Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's shark week go big or go home
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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