just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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