some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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