Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
