I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
