Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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