My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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