i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
