I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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