Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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