Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
