you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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