I showed him my bush... on skype.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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