Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
