A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We are all done wearing pants today
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
