I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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