I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
