You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
