Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
But we have bathrooms and they dont
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
