I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize