FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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