woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
and you fell through a lawn chair
We need to get me chipped asap
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize