You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
