My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
