I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
