u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
