My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
