problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Congratulations! We have a period
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