after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I love you. Go after that dick
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
