At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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