please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
