My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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