god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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