well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
