***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
okay pat passed out under dana's car
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
