I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
