Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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